Praise for For Fidelity: How Intimacy and Commitment Enrich our Lives
Alfred A. Knopf, February 1998
Vintage Books, February 1999
"To write truthfully about marriage and sex in our day would seem to be impossible. To write beautifully about marriage and sex in our day is even more unlikely. Yet Catherine Wallace has written a beautiful and truthful book about marriage and sex, all the more remarkable because she discovers in Christian practice the resources of truth and beauty. If any book can help us 'turn the corner' on speaking well about sex today, this is the one."
—Stanley Hauerwas, Duke University
"This book reaches into the vibrant core of marital intimacy and faithfulness, and evokes a sense for what is true and good and blessed about our deepest commitments. It should help spouses celebrate fidelity and enable parents to convey life's more important values to their children."
—Douglas Schuurman, St. Olaf College
"In this timely, savvy, and engaging book, Catherine Wallace rescues the idea of fidelity from consignment to the attic of antique values. With a wisdom informed by wide reading and enriched by her own experience, she shows why fidelity is not a burden but a 'blessing' and a 'delight'."
—Victor Furnish, Southern Methodist University
"Wallace's account of the blessings and challenges of sexual fidelity is open-minded, sensitive, funny, probing, honest, theologically sophisticated, and completely accessible. She reminds us of a simple truth: our sexuality thrives under the same habits of compassionate honesty and respectful loyalty that nurture all other dimensions of our rich and complicated lives."
—Cristina Traina, Northwestern University
"Fidelity tells the personal stories of longing to find some way between oppression and hedonism in the mystery of uniting love and sex, intimacy and desire. Cate Wallace does what individual specialists are unable to do: offer a compelling argument for sexual exclusivity as a way of life that give sense and sensibility to our lives. "
—Timothy F. Sedgwick, Virginia Theological Seminary
"We have proved ourselves quite articulate about sexual transgression, but strangely silent about the positive goods of marriage: fidelity and commitment. This book breaks that silence, arguing that fidelity is an art dependent upon concrete practices of candor, generosity, and storytelling. For Fidelity is wise and humane, sure-footed in argument and rich in example, elegantly written and theoretically sound."
—Martha Ellen Stortz, Pacific Lutheran Theological Seminary
"Fidelity, written to help parents instill that virtue in their children, does far more. It is a skilled exploration of sexuality in Western Christian culture, the nature of intimate relationships and the religious dimensions of 'blessing' as they apply to sexual fidelity. It will benefit any thoughtful reader who seeks to connect Christian faith and daily life." —Esther Walter, Consultant in Sexuality Education
"Ms. Wallace illuminates many false steps we are prone to make as partners and parents and shows how to avoid or correct them by adopting a single unifying value. This is a lovely, tightly-reasoned, energetic presentation of an ancient wisdom: FIDELITY."
—Hugh and Gayle Prather, authors of Spiritual Parenting
"Wise and lyrical, C. M. Wallace turns fidelity and sexual commitment into an erotic experience. A brilliant and learned writer, she knows how to speak the language of the heart. Essential reading . . ."
—Marilyn Gaull, editor, The Wordsworth Circle
"What an affirmation of all things beautiful to teach our children--regardless of their sexual orientation--about sexual fidelity. As parents, we are teachers and role models, and this book, with its gentle yet powerful search into how intimate relationships endure, should become a helpful resource in guiding our children toward a mature and lasting commitment."
—Jane C. Loflin, Director, Presbyterian Parents of Gays and Lesbians, Inc.
“Books advocating monogamy are usually from the pens of those disturbed about changing patterns of sexual behavior and eager to call the world to the standards of the past. This book is unique in that it embraces the sexual revolution. Then it calls its readers through it and beyond to a new understanding of sexuality in which monogamy can be seen as the appropriate modern response to an expanded consciousness. It makes its case well.”
—The Rt. Rev. John Shelby Spong, Episcopal Bishop of Newark
Peter Steinfels, New York Times: “[a summary of the argument] does not suggest the surprises, the wit and the moving stories with which she advances it. Little sparks fly off the pages . . . She is simply making a reasoned case where all too few are brave enough to venture.”
Brigette Frase, Hungry Mind Review: [Wallace is] a stylist and thinker of uncommon intellectual charm; she’s that rare creature among writers, someone both witty and wise. . . . Her short, fine book very gracefully blends domestic memoir with a philosophical inquiry into the ethics of sex.”
Sonya Colberg, Tulsa World: “A celebration of fidelity and an accounting of basic beliefs backed by a history of morality developed through stories rather than lectures.”
Kirkus Reviews: “...one cannot help but appreciate her book. Her efforts to view sexuality in the broadest possible ethical, religious, and cultural contexts are clear-headed, well formulated, and sometimes profound.”
Ray Olson, Booklist: “Wallace is cogent, erudite, and advanced enough in her attitudes not to quarantine gay couples from straight: sexual fidelity, she asserts, is good for all committed love relationships. Her rich little book is a philosophical argument rather than a prescriptive advisor. It demands and rewards reflective reading and may prove to be a classic on its subject.”
The New Yorker: “...this scholar makes an eloquent case for sexual fidelity.”
Maria Braden, Lexington KY Herald Leader “It’s an odd combination, this distillation of theology, compassion, and common sense, but it works. . . . For Fidelity is worth reading not only for the clear, logical way she lays out her rationale for sexual fidelity, but also for the sometimes hilarious, sometimes moving stories she tells to illustrate her arguments.”
Leslie Baldacci, Chicago Sun-Times “This mother of three teenagers is no priss. She is frank . . . But she also believes that fidelity is the only path to the sense of intimacy and commitment that takes sex to another level of human expression.”
John Wilson, Christianity Today "It would be a pity of readers who disagree with Wallace about homosexuality simply stopped reading her book—just as it would if gay and lesbian readers refused to attend to Wallace's case for fidelity. It is rare indeed to find a book about sexuality that is neither sleazy nor clinical, neither saccharine nor joyless. And a Christian sex book, too, that you wouldn't be embarrassed to be caught with. For Fidelity is such a book: worth reading, worth arguing about, worth reading again--even if it is warmly endorsed by the Right Reverend John Spong."
Susan Reimer, Baltimore Sun "Wallace makes a philosopher's argument for marital fidelity as the logical extension of honorable friendship. . . . Wallace's book makes heroic those of us who are faithful in marriage because there isn't the time or the opportunity or the guts to be anything else. But she does more than make us feel good about the default mode of our lives: She tells us how to teach our children to be faithful in a faithless world. Not just sexually faithful to a mate, but faithful to a friend and to ourselves."
Vintage Books, February 1999
"To write truthfully about marriage and sex in our day would seem to be impossible. To write beautifully about marriage and sex in our day is even more unlikely. Yet Catherine Wallace has written a beautiful and truthful book about marriage and sex, all the more remarkable because she discovers in Christian practice the resources of truth and beauty. If any book can help us 'turn the corner' on speaking well about sex today, this is the one."
—Stanley Hauerwas, Duke University
"This book reaches into the vibrant core of marital intimacy and faithfulness, and evokes a sense for what is true and good and blessed about our deepest commitments. It should help spouses celebrate fidelity and enable parents to convey life's more important values to their children."
—Douglas Schuurman, St. Olaf College
"In this timely, savvy, and engaging book, Catherine Wallace rescues the idea of fidelity from consignment to the attic of antique values. With a wisdom informed by wide reading and enriched by her own experience, she shows why fidelity is not a burden but a 'blessing' and a 'delight'."
—Victor Furnish, Southern Methodist University
"Wallace's account of the blessings and challenges of sexual fidelity is open-minded, sensitive, funny, probing, honest, theologically sophisticated, and completely accessible. She reminds us of a simple truth: our sexuality thrives under the same habits of compassionate honesty and respectful loyalty that nurture all other dimensions of our rich and complicated lives."
—Cristina Traina, Northwestern University
"Fidelity tells the personal stories of longing to find some way between oppression and hedonism in the mystery of uniting love and sex, intimacy and desire. Cate Wallace does what individual specialists are unable to do: offer a compelling argument for sexual exclusivity as a way of life that give sense and sensibility to our lives. "
—Timothy F. Sedgwick, Virginia Theological Seminary
"We have proved ourselves quite articulate about sexual transgression, but strangely silent about the positive goods of marriage: fidelity and commitment. This book breaks that silence, arguing that fidelity is an art dependent upon concrete practices of candor, generosity, and storytelling. For Fidelity is wise and humane, sure-footed in argument and rich in example, elegantly written and theoretically sound."
—Martha Ellen Stortz, Pacific Lutheran Theological Seminary
"Fidelity, written to help parents instill that virtue in their children, does far more. It is a skilled exploration of sexuality in Western Christian culture, the nature of intimate relationships and the religious dimensions of 'blessing' as they apply to sexual fidelity. It will benefit any thoughtful reader who seeks to connect Christian faith and daily life." —Esther Walter, Consultant in Sexuality Education
"Ms. Wallace illuminates many false steps we are prone to make as partners and parents and shows how to avoid or correct them by adopting a single unifying value. This is a lovely, tightly-reasoned, energetic presentation of an ancient wisdom: FIDELITY."
—Hugh and Gayle Prather, authors of Spiritual Parenting
"Wise and lyrical, C. M. Wallace turns fidelity and sexual commitment into an erotic experience. A brilliant and learned writer, she knows how to speak the language of the heart. Essential reading . . ."
—Marilyn Gaull, editor, The Wordsworth Circle
"What an affirmation of all things beautiful to teach our children--regardless of their sexual orientation--about sexual fidelity. As parents, we are teachers and role models, and this book, with its gentle yet powerful search into how intimate relationships endure, should become a helpful resource in guiding our children toward a mature and lasting commitment."
—Jane C. Loflin, Director, Presbyterian Parents of Gays and Lesbians, Inc.
“Books advocating monogamy are usually from the pens of those disturbed about changing patterns of sexual behavior and eager to call the world to the standards of the past. This book is unique in that it embraces the sexual revolution. Then it calls its readers through it and beyond to a new understanding of sexuality in which monogamy can be seen as the appropriate modern response to an expanded consciousness. It makes its case well.”
—The Rt. Rev. John Shelby Spong, Episcopal Bishop of Newark
Peter Steinfels, New York Times: “[a summary of the argument] does not suggest the surprises, the wit and the moving stories with which she advances it. Little sparks fly off the pages . . . She is simply making a reasoned case where all too few are brave enough to venture.”
Brigette Frase, Hungry Mind Review: [Wallace is] a stylist and thinker of uncommon intellectual charm; she’s that rare creature among writers, someone both witty and wise. . . . Her short, fine book very gracefully blends domestic memoir with a philosophical inquiry into the ethics of sex.”
Sonya Colberg, Tulsa World: “A celebration of fidelity and an accounting of basic beliefs backed by a history of morality developed through stories rather than lectures.”
Kirkus Reviews: “...one cannot help but appreciate her book. Her efforts to view sexuality in the broadest possible ethical, religious, and cultural contexts are clear-headed, well formulated, and sometimes profound.”
Ray Olson, Booklist: “Wallace is cogent, erudite, and advanced enough in her attitudes not to quarantine gay couples from straight: sexual fidelity, she asserts, is good for all committed love relationships. Her rich little book is a philosophical argument rather than a prescriptive advisor. It demands and rewards reflective reading and may prove to be a classic on its subject.”
The New Yorker: “...this scholar makes an eloquent case for sexual fidelity.”
Maria Braden, Lexington KY Herald Leader “It’s an odd combination, this distillation of theology, compassion, and common sense, but it works. . . . For Fidelity is worth reading not only for the clear, logical way she lays out her rationale for sexual fidelity, but also for the sometimes hilarious, sometimes moving stories she tells to illustrate her arguments.”
Leslie Baldacci, Chicago Sun-Times “This mother of three teenagers is no priss. She is frank . . . But she also believes that fidelity is the only path to the sense of intimacy and commitment that takes sex to another level of human expression.”
John Wilson, Christianity Today "It would be a pity of readers who disagree with Wallace about homosexuality simply stopped reading her book—just as it would if gay and lesbian readers refused to attend to Wallace's case for fidelity. It is rare indeed to find a book about sexuality that is neither sleazy nor clinical, neither saccharine nor joyless. And a Christian sex book, too, that you wouldn't be embarrassed to be caught with. For Fidelity is such a book: worth reading, worth arguing about, worth reading again--even if it is warmly endorsed by the Right Reverend John Spong."
Susan Reimer, Baltimore Sun "Wallace makes a philosopher's argument for marital fidelity as the logical extension of honorable friendship. . . . Wallace's book makes heroic those of us who are faithful in marriage because there isn't the time or the opportunity or the guts to be anything else. But she does more than make us feel good about the default mode of our lives: She tells us how to teach our children to be faithful in a faithless world. Not just sexually faithful to a mate, but faithful to a friend and to ourselves."